Portable Backcountry Adventure Toilet Poo Disposal Transport System Thing
Now you CAN take it with you when you "go"...
Yak Tube has many possible uses where facilities are unavailable
*Kayaking, canoeing, boating.
*Backpacking, hiking, camping.
*Jeeping, 4 wheeling.
*Back country skiing, snowboarding, snow shoeing.
*Mom's diaper vault for road trips. Ever had a used diaper spill on your car seats in the Summer? Use Yak Tube and you never will.
*Dog poo porter. So much more stylish than walking around with a fist full of doo, while searching for a trash can.
Other non-poo related uses for Yak Tube
*Time capsule, stash tube.
*Food storage to protect vittles from critters.
*Advance food cache drops along trip routes to reduce packing weight.
*Boating or water sports dry safe container.
*** Just don't use the same one you poop in.
Everybody poops... but not everyone looks so stylish lugging it out of the backcountry...
:) Yak Tube ... Leave no trace! (:
Yak Tube - Fudge Packer ABS
Yak Tube - Fudge Packer HDPE
Yak Tubes are now available in 3 sizes and materials.
Tiny Monkey - $35 6 inch fun tube for short trips, doggie dumps or diaper duty. (3 days use for normal tiny humans or 1 day for a Texan. Individual results may vary)
Fudge Packer - $45 A serious foot long sub that's built for the groovy business. (One week use for normal humans or 3 days for most French women. Individual results may vary)
Big Birtha - $55 A whopping 2 footer, for couples in love who want to share the load or solo artists on a self-exploration adventure. (One week use for 2 fun loving normal humans, 2 weeks for standard issue solo expedition use or one day for a politician. Individual results may vary)
Tubes are made from either ABS (black), PVC (white) or HDPE (white corrugated) plastic. Please specify what you would prefer when ordering.
They each have unique characteristics. Please consider these options.
ABS is strong and durable, however because it is black it absorbs heat, this can cause problems in hot climates.
PVC is white so it reflects heat. It is very strong and rugged but it is also heavy. This is great for boating, or Jeeping but not so great for backpacking. (Add $5 to price for PVC.)
HDPE is strong, white and very light. The ultimate all around choice for hot climate and PooPortablility.
Yak Tubes are hand made by humans in the USA.
Yakcessories (coming soon)
$15 Super happy fun magic poo pixie dust - sprinkle this magic dust on your loaf to start the breakdown process and reduce aromatic sensations. 12 pack.
$10 Yak targets. Coffee filters to drop your loaf. (See directions if this boggles your mind.)
$10 Turd wrangler gloves. Easy on/off. Single use.
$5 One Liners. Using a liner bag will help elimnate a messy clean-up of your Yak Tube. After your trip is complete, just remove the liner with your special treats and dispose of properly.
Optional Yak Gear (coming soon)
$10 Yak Lid. Extra secure cap that goes over the butt plug, adds a second layer of protection. It's like a security blanket in case you forget to tighten the stopper securely.
$35 Yak Bag. Dry bag to safely store your Yak Tube and strap onto your boat or pack and further protect your precious cargo.
$20 Yak Caboose. Extra tube attachment chamber to store accessories.
Tiny Monkey HDPE
Secure sales transactions are handled through Paypal. You can also send in checks or money orders.
We don't have automated site purchases up and running just yet.
However one can likely be found on Ebay with a quick "Yak Tube" search.
Yak Tube was created by composer/adventurer/designer Brett Houston. It was conceived after an awesome 120 mile kayak adventure down the Green River through Canyonlands to the Colorado River. This wilderness area does not have facilities and it is forbidden to poop there. You are required by law to pack out your poo, or pay dearly... The design was based on the standard "torpedo" toilet which is known to have a few nasty flaws (Fun stuff like leaking or exploding in the hot sun). Yak Tube was the result of an inspritaional challenge to create a better poo portation machine.
Scorched and bitten on the mighty Green River...
For your consideration
You can spend $400 on a deluxe portable toilet with an outfitter, but aside from being shiny and cheap they are way too big for a kayak, backpack or bike.
The PETT toilet costs $120 and uses WAG bags which are no longer allowed in many State or National Parks.
You could rent a toilet, but hey, do you really want to use someone else's poop contraption? This is gonna be with you every day in the backcountry. You don't want something nasty like that to spoil your trip.
Yak Tubes are fair priced and they do the job. (Or "handle your business", yeah, that sounds better.) They are lighter, cheaper, cooler and easier to store than most portable toilets. And more importantly, I want you to buy one so I can show my wife I wasn't insane for starting this project...
Sure you could go down to Home Depot and spend a day designing and making your own poop tube, but the materials alone will cost you $20, then there's overpriced gas and your day spent in the garage slamming tools around. Just buy the YakTube and take the day off to do something fun instead. Besides, I need the money to buy my daughter a pony... And then there's college, so maybe buy two or three.
They make great gifts. Everybody poops, and I bet they don't have one of these for their cubical at work, their car, or home during emergencies like hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, Uncle Ernie's visit or whatever else that may cause utilities to be disrupted. They are also great for Parisians, Londoners or New Yorkers with those tiny studios with a shared toilet down the hall. I mean, I hear from people, I wouldn't actually know from experience...
And hey you don't have to put poop in them, you could put other stuff in them for all kinds of purposes. For example, fill them full of secret things or gold bullion to bury in the backyard, leave food caches along trails/rivers for long trips, make a time capsule, or that Geo Caching thing people do. Although, I think they prefer old coffee cans for that... Whatever.
These are affordable, reusable, recyclable and meet State and Federal guidelines for waste removal contraptions.
They stow easily in the hull of your kayak, canoe, bike rack, panniers or strapped to backpacks.
They make great conversation pieces around the water cooler with cityslick coworkers who have no clue why you spend your vacations f'ing off in the middle of nowhere with out a big comfy bed, HD TV, WiFi, 4g hotspot, room service and valet. Yeah, tell em how you eat reanimated food-like substances boiled in a bag, that must constantly be defended from rats, marmots, hippies and bears. Ya drink water you pumped from a muddy river and poop on a coffee filter that gets shoved into a poop tube you bought from some musician on the interweb. All so you can absorb pristine wilderness and paddle/climb/hike/bike/ride for hours on end in the crispy sun only to crawl off to sleep by a crackling fire in a mummy bag under a silent, star infested sky. They will worship you.
Speaking of saving your chow, these can also be used to store vittles where varmits can't get to em. Although, don't use the same one you poop in one for God's sake... get another one for food. There's nothing worse than having rats, mice, raccoons, marmots, bears or hippies getting in to your food supply. Starving in the middle of nowhere is not as badass as it seems in movies. And pine cones do not taste as good as they look after 3 days without food.
Yak Tubes float and are waterproof, so you could use one as a dry safe for valuables.
This short guide will give you all the information that you need to most effectively use your Yak Tube
Directions for use.
Put on rubber glove, lay down your poo target capture device (coffee filter, flour tortilla, photo of your ex etc) drop your drawers and release the beast on appropriate target (poop), sprinkle a pinch of magic poo pixie dust over the fresh loaf, wrap the burrito carefully, plop the special package in to the YakTube poo depository contraption, seal securely, stow, rock on!
When you return from your adventure take your precious new container to an approved waste disposal site to send it on to its final resting place. They may have sites in some State or National Parks but most RV dump sites will work. I wouldn't recommend flushing the coffee filtered burritos in to a regular toilet. You can do it though, I'm not one to tell you what to do with your "business" but it might clog it up. Just sayin.
You could also just put a bow on top and leave it on the doorstep of an old ex. Although, State regulations prohibit lighting them on fire like standard paper bags.
On second thought, I'm sure someone might sue me for suggesting that you leave a tube full of poo on someone's porch, so forget I said anything.
Using a liner in the Yak Tube will alleviate the need to clean the tube after your trip. Just remove and dispose of properly.
The dirty fine print
Make certain you tighten the end cap bolts securely EVERY time to seal your YakTube and that there is no dirt, sand or debris between the rubber seal and the tube or your trip is really gonna suck...
Aiming your poo accurately on to a coffee filter without error may take some practice for amateurs. So as a top pro I'd recommend that before your trip you go out in the backyard and poop on photos of celebrities you've torn out of magazines. It's about the size of coffee filters that you'll use on your trip and so much more motivational as far as targets go. Just don't use the photos on your trip because they are not as safe for waste disposal sites. Be sure to think up a fun excuse to tell the neighbors when they ask "what the hell you are doing?" from the other side of the fence. Resist any urges to launch your artwork in their direction, you are better than that.
The Yak Lid (extra top cap accessory) is a good investment to be a double safeguard. Storing the Yak Tube in a Yak Bag (dry bag) would be another triple safe idea to protect it from excesive heat by the sun in Summer.
Whatever you do, don't set the lid down in the dirt. If you get dirt or sand on the rubber gasket it may cause it to leak. In case you're one of those people that don't listen to directions and will do it anyway, clean the dirt off before sealing the top on the tube.
Tell your pack of rabid lawyers that I won't say that these are "guaranteed" because there are too many variables here that are beyond my control. However if you follow the directions and use common sense they will work just fine.
However, (for a worst case example) if you eat a buttload of Taco Bell -or any other genetically modified, pesticide laden junk food - drink your weight in Vodka, smoke meth and leave the tube in direct sunlight all day it will probably explode and shower everyone with hot poo lava. So don't do that, unless you're into that sort of thing. Then just don't do it around me. (Seriously though, I have heard that if you leave Torpedo Toilets in the sun they can explode. It has never happened to me, if you don't leave yours in the sun, it should not happen to you either. So what I'm saying here is, never leave any pootainer in the direct sunlight for long periods of time. (Poo vapors create methane gas ya know).
These are not designed for pee. They may work just fine for that, but we haven't done the advanced testing. They can handle the liquid, even under pressure, but due to the fact that everyone's exhaust juice contains different chemical compositions (depending on what one is ingesting, (food, drink, preservatives, gmo junk, drugs etc). There are other associated risks regarding contained chemical compounds. If you are a renegade guinea pig, (or just really desperate), try it out and tell us how well that worked for ya. If things go well, we might give you a medal. If they don't, we will disavow you and this website will self-destruct in 30 seconds...
Nothing made by humans is perfect but these are the best sealing options available on the market. I have never had one leak, but I suspect some goombah is gonna buy one of these, do something crazy careless and blame us... SO, don't be that goombah. Follow directions...
*(My wife said I shouldn't put that last part in, but I think it's important and funny, so there.)
Sadly, due to the intended nature of use of Yak Tube and considering Federal regulations being what they are with sending hazardous waste through the mail, there are no returns on YakTubes. That's right buddy, you bought it, it's yours now. Enjoy!
Anyway, Yak Tube will handle your "business " allowing you to focus on having a super-happy-fun-time adventure without mucking up the great outdoors or having Ranger Rick haul your ass in for crimes against poomanity.
Yee Haw. Carrying poo in a tube has never been more fun, or stylish...
Squeak, adventurizing on the Green River.
Info about rules and regulations for backcountry pooping.
FYI, the design shown here using standard RV caps will leak because the seal is not strong enough.
And since they are black, they can explode if left in the hot sun.
Portable toilet restrictions and guideline info for BLM. (Bureau of Land Management)
Brett Houston Creations
©2013 Brett Houston
Inextremis R.P.M. ASCAP